THE ANNETTE I KNEW

I realised recently that I never wrote anything to express the sense of loss I felt when Annette passed away. I don’t write many deeply personal things but for Annette I decided to do so.

Annette was in the first group of students I taught once I had a master’s degree, and she immediately made a lasting impression on me. Initially, I was merely curious because of her surname. Having worked with her brother, who I had such a high view of, seeing someone else with that name was obviously going to get my attention. I acted on my curiosity and started picking her to respond to questions more often than others. Once I heard the first few answers she gave I knew that I needed to continue picking on her because she was very good! Anyone who knows me knows I generally dislike giving (and receiving) hollow praises so take my word for it when I say that Annette was very good. I loved that her thinking was several steps above the typical first-year level. She could easily pick apart a complicated problem, examine each part of it and then put together an incredible response. A lot like a very capable algorithm! I can’t list the number of times she finished an answer and left me thinking, “wow!”

Annette not only thought very impressively, she also wrote extremely well. In the three semesters that I taught her, Annette wrote essays that we placed at the very top of her class. God, they were good. Deeply researched, reflective of careful and rigorous thought, easy to read and understand, miles ahead of her contemporaries. Until today, I perfectly recall the path that each of her essays followed. It is partly because of how good her work was that I became so curious about why some students arrive in law school so good at writing while others arrive so awful at it. This isn’t the place to elaborate on the answer but I think a large part of it is how much reading they’ve been doing in their lives (I learnt that Annette read a lot).

I was so impressed with Annette that I invited her to join the first research project I ever received a grant for and we worked together pretty closely for a while. In that time, she played a very crucial role in my work. She wasn’t just a fact-finding research assistant: She actually helped me assess the strength of some of the arguments I was considering. She was always at my presentations, carefully taking notes and thinking about how the project could be made better. She once insisted on doing this even while in hospital! I will always be grateful for her help there, and I’m really hoping we can set up a research prize in her name.

I won’t lie and say that Annette and I were best friends, but I was certainly very fond of her and I hope she was fond of me. Whenever we met we often spoke about how each of our lives was going. No advice-giving, no judgment: just conversations about the strangeness of life. I truly enjoyed listening to her experiences, and those conversations will always stay with me. Also, I was always touched that even when it was a very straight-to-the-point transactional message that I had sent her, Annette constantly asked how I was doing. Every other day, I also got to see what Annette meant to the people who both sheand I knew well. She certainly carried their hearts. They would speak about her regularly and in a way that obviously showed each of them knew her in a deeply special and positive way.

There are a bunch of things I always wanted to tell Annette. I always intended to tell Annette that I thought she would be a superb researcher if she decided to pursue that career path. In fact, I had made a mental note to tell her that in the new academic year. I also wanted to tell her a special thank you — the kind of thank you that no compensation can adequately show — for the time we worked together closely. I have a feeling that at some point Annette also felt like she was letting me down, and so I also wanted to tell her that my opinion of her never wavered. I always thought very highly of her. I’m sad that I never got to say all these things to Annette but at least I can write them here. You will always be special Annette. I was very proud of you, I was very impressed by you and I will always remember you in a super special way.

Rest in peace Annette.